Monday, 23 January 2012

Never ending weight problems!

Ive had a really nice weekend with all the family, was really good to see them all, hate the fact they don't live 5 mins down the road. everyone said i looked well and i do feel genually pretty good at the moment, although the weight has become a problem again!

i have lost more weight than i imagined i had...iv been in denial about it. its one of the hardest things i find to manage these days! id LOVE  to be fat and have to loose weight, but no im the complete opposite.
weight dropped to 36.3kg which is what i weighed friday night, i was shocked myself! i never thought it would have dropped that low again, and im in danger of my lung collapsing again if i was to get a bad infection as i was told that was one of the reasons which caused it to happen last time, that alone scared me and gave me a kick up the arse!
also with my weight being this low, i will be temporally be taken off the transplant list which would be my worst nightmare, i cant afford to loose a chance of missing out on getting new lungs! however if i was to get a call now theres a high chance they would refuse to do it as my weights so low.

This is one of the most things im looking forward to after transplant, not to have to worry about me weight, will take such a strain off my life! plus i use to love my food, but the last 2-3 years i feel like i have some sort of eating disorder, its all i seem to ever talk about...my weight or people nagging at me to eat! i know they mean well and to be fair unless they nag me i wont bother...

well anyway since friday i have really focused on getting my weight back up. i havent managed to do a feed but iv been eating as much as i can push myself and with nearly all my meals and sometimes inbetween i have been drinking my fortsip strawberry drinks and tonight i weigh 37.6kg so it must be working, 2moz im goign to try and feed and hopefully keep it down!!

chest has been as good as it can be. still using my oxygen during the day, i try go without it sometimes to see how i cope and do well sometimes then sometimes i just take a funny turn i cant breathe or speak and just need it! so strange...funny the way our bodies work!

thats all for now big brothers starting :)

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