Monday, 24 September 2012

Trying to be positive!

Well as you may have noticed I'm not on the "kalydeco high" I want it back! Feeling a bit beaten at the moment, pretty tired a lot of the time, chest feels so full!

It sometimes crosses my mind weather the hospital have made a mistake and maybe I don't have the G551D gene...I do snap out of this train of thought!

I just feel pretty let down at the moment from K and I feel stupid for even thinking like this as my lung function is still 20% and that's way better than it has been before!
Just want that burst of energy, I want that high, I want to not constantly be coughing up, it's secretly getting me down a bit now! Wanna rewind to the first two weeks of K!

I started using my oxygen again at home sometimes, and at times it has given me that burst of energy to witch then Iv completely blitzed the house clean... When I write stuff like this I then feel stupid for complaining and being negative cause lets face it I couldn't tidy the house before even if I had been on oxygen!

Think my expectations are a bit high, lets face it my lung function is still only 20% I think I just need to adapt and go with my body instead of feeling let down by it! However I refuse to settle for this! I want to be running around like a loon again, and I'm on a mission to get to the gym!!

Think the stress of the wedding isn't helping...god knows what I'd be like trying to organise a massive wedding!

Holiday next week so maybe a good bit of Spanish clear sea air and lots of sun will do the trick! Also need to put weight on I'm looking skinny at the moment and don't feel good about myself at all!

A pretty depressing blog!

Sorry haha il try be more upbeat in the next one....

1 comment:

  1. Hi George, your engagement ring is beautiful. Your blog is inspiring to read. I'm a children's cf nurse. Have a great holiday x