Friday, 5 April 2013

The Dreaded RIP Sammie xx

It sickens me to be writing this blog entry at all but the fact so soon after my last blog, makes it even worse!

As I mention in my last blog, a dear friend of mine sam wasn't doing too great, and I was praying and hoping so much that she would pull through... unfortunately it wasn't the case this time and she sadly passed away yesterday (4th april).

I still Feel a bit in shock mode, doesn't feel real, still waiting for a tweet or post on facebook from her saying "sorry for the scare guys im fine", i don't want it to be real. since finding out makes me feel numb. why did it have to happen to her?, she didn't deserve this, why didn't her call come like others have?, makes me so angry, I know some things in life are meant to be and I normally say "everything happens for a reason" but really what reason is there for this to happen to such a beautiful bright positive person, the world needs more people like sam, she inspired so many, people she had never met she made a difference to!!
some people walk in and out of your life all the time and having Cystic Fibrosis you do meet and speak to some strong inspiring people that have to deal and cope with so much but meeting and knowing sam, she was extra special.
Nothing stopped her, and no matter how unwell she felt, she always would give you the biggest smile and be so positive about things, and so caring and generally always cared about how others were.

Sam had been waiting for a double lung transplant since January 2010, she expected a longer wait as her blood group was type O which strangely although it is the most common blood group, it is one of the uncommon donated blood groups!

This is the link to sams blog

theres so much more I want to write but finding it so hard to write things and im so angry at the moment,  I feel like im being selfish even writing how I feel, I just know all her family and loved ones will be hurting and I just want to take all the pain away from them, sam herself wouldn't want anyone to feel like this sad or angry she would still want everyone to be positive and she would know that god took her for a reason.
but knowing the way you should feel and actually feeling one way is two different things and I cant help it..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Please if your reading this and you haven't signed up for Organ Donation please do, I have lost too many friends to this horrible illness, and and two in the last 4 days whos lives could have been saved, familys would still have there loved ones with them, kids would still have there mummy or daddys, partners would still have there husband or wife with them, no mother or father should out live there children and esp grand parents shouldn't out live there grand children.....all this can change by doing one selfless act and joining the donor register...https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/how_to_become_a_donor/registration/consent.asp

Rip Beautiful Angel Sammie always be in my Heart xxxxxxxxx


Wednesday, 3 April 2013

The return of a sad blog! RIP CHLOE <3

So I'm back and in mixed emotions this evening...I'm hating on the world!!

Growing up knowing your life would always be short as I was born with this life sentence, yet dealing with reality of losing someone younger than you and who you knew quite well, never seems to become something that's easily accepted or right!!
In fact after hearing the loss of a friend this Easter weekend has hit me like a ton of bricks! 20 is far too young to die!
It's wrong, why didn't her call come in time? Why didn't she get that second chance she so rightly deserved!!

I tend to shut myself away from having friendships with people with cf as I always feared that these days would come!.. My blog is slowly turning into an marmoreal page and I'm hating that, lately I only seem to blog sadly when someone has passed away, and for someone who doesn't have many "cf friends" there slowly disappearing on me.

Beautiful Chloe who sadly took her last breath on Sunday afternoon was a lovely girl, she was always in hospital with me as a kid, always causing mischief, terrorising the nurses and doctors and running away from every physio in sight! She did make my hospital admissions rather exciting and interesting. As we moved onto the adult ward I didn't see her as much, mainly due to the segregation and I'd hibernate in my room mainly, but if often see her in the kitchen. She struggled with her weight a long time before they could list her for transplant and sadly after being on the list she just didn't get the call in time, I saw and spoke to her on my last admission and bless her she was such a fighter and could see she wasn't giving up but there's only so much your body can take I suppose!

My heart goes out to her family, loved ones and many friends. She will be greatly missed!! And il always remember that cheeky little girl standing at my door on the children's ward!!
RIP Chloe Elliot xxxx

Anyone reading this I also want you to pray for another friend of mine Sam, she's going through such a rough time at the moment and has currently been suspended from the transplant list die to broken ribs and cannot be listed until they heal, so lots of healing vibes need to be sent her way so she can be listed again as things aren't getting easier for Sam, she needs those lungs so badly, she's been waiting a long time now, a few years but although she is not awake much at the moment when she was she told luke (her husband) that she's not letting cf beat her!! She's amazing and I know she can get through this, she's a true inspiration and after obstacle and obstacle she's still fighting strong!!

Her blog is on the side of mine, it's called end of my tether
Really good read, her blogs are better written than mine and also written by her husband when times got very scary for her! Please read!

All of this makes me appreciate how lucky I've been with getting kalydeco, and going from being in a pretty dangerous state myself and manage to get through it and be stable now, can't help but feel guilty, why was I the lucky one? But like I've said before it makes me want to live life to the max and never give up!!

On that note.....

Please sign up for organ donation if you haven't, your more likely to need an organ than you will ever donate, so if you would take an organ then be willing to give one when you die!!

And tell your family and loved ones your wishes as they have the finally say no matter what your choice is!! They can still say no!

Love to all x