Tuesday, 30 August 2016

New start! Diet plan

So decided that I've had my "I'm recovering year" mode on for too long now and things aren't going to change I have to put the effort in like normal human beings do with the added stress and pressure of devil s (Steriods) 

So I have being typically looking on Pinterest as I do most nights when I can't sleep (again thank you Devil S) and this bank holiday weekend I have gone all out and eaten like an absolute pig! Curry, pizza express, and the best pudding ever 

All amazing but let's face it I can't sit here and complain about my weight and bloating when I'm eating all of this rubbish and carbs just do not agree with my tummy situation! 

So back to Pinterest I have been looking at diets etc and found one that could work for me! It's called the Paleo diet, it basically is like going back to the cave men days, only eating meat fruit and natural stuff, no processed rubbish, no carbs and grain, and ESP no sugars and fizzy drinks! 

Now this is the biggest challenge for me, I'm addicted to redbull! I know so bad bla bla bla but addiction is an addiction and redbull is my weakness! But over the last week Aswell as drinking it I have been drinking more water! So I'm just going to go cold turkey and not drink it. 

I have holiday in less than a month so I've decided to do my own 30 day challenge. Keep to this diet as best as possible, try go to the gym at least 3 times a week, do the 30 day squat and plank challenge and try drink as much water as possible. 

Avoiding going out to restaurants, keep away from corner shops at work! And keep a log of my daily process and video it so I don't give up! Like a distraction! Il do my weight tomorrow morning, and a selfie to start and then just see where this leads to. It might all be a fail but il be happy just avoiding redbull to be honest and fizzy drinks but if I can stop the bloating and loose a bit of weight that will be a massive bonus! I want to look half decent in a bikini! 

So I wanted to blog so I've thrown it out there now and can't hide or back track on it! I've got to have the will power and prove to myself that the way I'm living at the moment is not how I can anymore. 

It's such a head fuck, growing up constantly being told to eat shit and put weight on, to now completely changing life style, and being on Steriods, it's a nightmare because all you think about is food, or what to eat and planning meals. Sometimes I spend no joke hours in my head having a debate weather to eat something or not! I'm always thinking about food and then when I start eating the is no stop button, no matter how full or bloated I am! I actually miss the sickness feeling sometimes and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, that's how desperate I am sometimes! 

I hate the way I look now, I look in the mirror and don't see George, I see this fat little chubby faced, bloated person! I don't feel sexy, I hate shopping or going to places to dress up because I can't where tight fitted clothing anymore! 

I mean I am so grateful to be here and wouldn't change it, just wish I didn't feel so down about how I look all the time! Thank god I take citalopram because I would prob be so depressed haha

Anyway so wish me like for these diet plans and challenges! And let's see if it works! I will prob post in sexy photos and I apologise in advance just want to keep it real! 

Mucho loveo 

Sprog xx

Saturday, 27 August 2016

I did it mofos, 1 year post transplant!

So that's it, I have conquered my first year, I've sailed through with no problems, I know this is cheesy but wow do I feel proud of myself!! 

I can't quite believe it's been a year already, at times it feels like only yesterday I was put back on the transplant list and started the agonising wait, and that morning of getting the 4th call for lungs and knowing it was a go ahead, but then at the same time it's feels like a lifetime ago, or like another person. 

Life has changed so dramatically sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore, ESP with less frequent hospital visits and nothing to struggle with. 

I've spent my whole life just knowing hospitals and being unwell or coughing all the time and even when I was doing well I still had cf so lungs were never perfect and quickly reminded me that when I would push myself or try be "normal" 

But now I pretty much am what I can only imagine is normal and it's mental!! And got to be honest but fucking scary sometimes!! 

I'm so positive and maybe too positive for my own liking sometimes, negativity rarely enters my head, but when it does the worrys hit me like a ton of bricks, and leading up to my year I started to thing maybe things have gone too well, what's going to happen now! But I brush myself off and chuck that neg thoughts away! "Just shut up George and enjoy every moment!!" 

It's all still very unreal, ESP like I said in my previous post, seeing stuff "on this day a year ago" on Facebook, things I missed, messages from people, it's just crazy! I've come so far from such little life left in me! 

But also this past year it's been lovely to see my family, my sisters grow and be part of their lives(as much as they will let me) 
Seeing my mum go from strength to strength and get her confidence back and working again, we have an incredible. Relationship and she's put her life on hold for far too long for me and everyone else, this is prob the first time since I was born she's been able to have me time for herself! And that in itself makes me so happy!! 
She's an amazing mum and person and everyone who knows her loves her dearly! 
Lee has got a proper wife for once and not a little vegetable stuck in a wheelchair or on oxygen anymore just a little fatter version of the 18 year old girl he met! 

Life is amazing and the things I write to describe it don't even come close to how good it really is!! 

On my actually anniversary the 19th myself, mum, Cathy, Paul, Nicola, baby vivi and holly met at Harefield hospital. I have in a card to send off to my donor family. And then let a balloon of for my amazing beautiful donor! 

We then went for a lovely lunch at the orchard in Harefield and Pamela and graham came to join in! And can't forget the lovely cake my mum made me even though she's never made a cake before haha 

So enough of the soppy shit!! 

How I celebrated! Well Obvs I had a party because let's face it, it's not every day you have a transplant and get to the first year so smoothly! 

So yeah we partied! Maybe a little too much...
I got a little hall with a bar at Woking football club, I had a photobooth, I made jelly shots! And lots of nibbles! 

And yeah so this is the result...

My favs minus Billee 

So that's just a few snippets but I had the best night and got so emotional at the end when they played my song "fight song" I cried my eyes out and I hardly ever cry! 

Also This photo below is amazing, we got all of the transplant lot together who were able to make it. Thanks to all our amazing donors we could all share this special moment together! 

The newbie is 3 months and the longest is 31 years!! 

So we have Ashley- double lungs
Emily- double lungs 
Sarah-kev the kidney
Andrew- double lung, heart and kidney
Kristina-double lung
Holly- double lung
Paula- double lung 
Carla- heart 
Veronica- double lung 
Vanessa-double lung
Sharon- double lung

12 patients, 13 donors, if this isn't a good enough reason to sign up for organ donation I don't know what is!

So all in all it was such A good anniversary and appreciate everyone who made it special for me, ESP lee for sorting all of the party stuff out and let me have whatever I wanted! Such a babe haha 

A few things in the next few weeks and countdown to my first holiday in 3 years!!!  Cannot bloody wait!! 

Mucho loveo  

Sunday, 14 August 2016

Countdown to the Year! and up the O2!

This is a brighter happier post from my last one, although Robbie has been on my mind so much and I've just turned my sadness into so much angry about it all which I shouldn't really but I can't help it. I seem to get moments of pure weakness and break down, but overall the anger is strong! Just totally don't think the situation was dealt with in the right way!! Anyways I'm not going to go all Debbie downer on this blog! 

So it's been so weird this past week, looking at my "memory" bits that pop up on Facebook from a year ago! And like I thought I missed so many lovely messages and comments from people and the support was incredible! 

I've taken some screen shots of a few of the messages on some of the days and post from myself or family! 
I can't even imagine what they must have all been going through!

Il try do it in order! 

So that brings me to the 14th August last year, waiting, struggling, wondering if I had much fight left and seeing others around me trying to be positive but slowly breaking!! 

....to this year on the 14th August!! I feel incredible and along with my friends who are both transplantees Aswell we climbed the o2 in Greenwich, London!! I done an interview for London Live in the week, was for this climb and raising awareness for LLGL charity and Organ Donation! Il post the link if I can. 

That little blue strip is what we walked over, very bouncy! And the first part was so steep! 

We celebrated with a cheeky cocktail in tgi! And Obvs some food too! Ha 

This week is the official countdown now till the 19th and I will be spending the week organising last minutes bits for my party on Saturday which in so excited for! 

More blogs to follow in the next coming week or two!! And we have lots of adventures now planned!!