Friday, 12 May 2017

Mental health 

So I've never been one to to talk about mental health, desperation or anything of that sort, before my transplant I didn't believe in depression as much, I thought it was more for people to overly use for having a bad day/week/month. 

But since my transplant a lot has changed, for me I understand it more! Leading up to my transplant I was fighting so hard to stay strong, alive and with it I refused all drugs that would "help" my mental state because I knew (thought) I could do it all on my own. 


But Suddenly you have a transplant and all of that is taken away from you! Like you have gone! Being strong isn't about staying alive anymore, it's about fighting the constant battle in your head, for me this is a life I have never known of nor do I still sometimes accept! But I've been talking about it more recently and it's become to my attention that yes I do feel a slight depression. Weather it is drugs related as most of my drugs side affects are depression, anxiety and becoming a fatty! Ha 


I've been on a drug called citalopram since a week post transplant due to panic attacks and anxiety through the roof! And my god did it help so I've been too afraid to come off, I have since upped my dose, and wonder if because of how low I have felt recently weather I need to talk to the Drs about upping it again although this is something I wouldn't want to jump too! 


It is also known now the more people are talking about it the better I feel, I am not alone. Everyone is assumed to have a transplant and your life be amazing again! Unfortunately that's what we all like to portray because in a glimpse we do! We have great lungs when willing! Freedom from hospitals a little more than before, but they are so right, your swapping one Sent of problems for another and depression is a big part of this! 

Yet we are made to feel guilty for talking about this now! And I feel we need more help, more support and the stigma to go for people to be content post transplant! There is a lot they don't prepare you for! 


Separation from relying on so many people around you was one of my first problems, although I jumped at the chance of people independent at first, it hits you after! 


Constantly feeling weak! Exhausted and fatigued! That doesn't go away! And feels a massive strain on you. 


Rejection worries, they are constantly on your mind despite what people do or say! I have seen too many friends slip away so quickly from it! 


And the guilt, two types, the one that you feel for your donor and their family, and then the one where your other friends or people you know who are waiting or don't get the chance! You shouldn't feel it but you do, and it can't be helped!


So as we end mental health awareness week I felt I wanted to share some hidden thoughts that do go through my mind and what I feel like I am constantly fighting against, some days I don't even want to get out of bed or wash, I feel like there is no point, but I've realised that it's ok to have day like this, as long as I fight back the next! Life is still and constant fight, just now with my feelings and emotions in my head! 


20 comments:

  1. Outstanding article! I want people to know just how good this information is in your article. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject. I will visit daily your blog because I know. It may be very beneficial for me. The National Counselling Society

    ReplyDelete
  2. A federal tax credit to help pay for new health coverage to Floridians who lost their health coverage but are receiving benefits from the Trade Adjustment Assistance (TAA) Program. food-healthy

    ReplyDelete
  3. While for some people, wellness products might be viewed as an aid to recovery from illness, for others it might be a means of further enhancing some aspect of their current health. Cryo Cuff Knee

    ReplyDelete
  4. People that have grandfathered health insurance plans are not going to be directly affected by health care reform. phentermine 37.5 australia

    ReplyDelete
  5. As sick wellbeing can destroy any of us at any age, we ought to consider our physical prosperity for the duration of our lives; both from the perspective of aversion and the perspective of cure. http://www.healthonize.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. OHA's can contribute by helping managers to manage sickness absence more effectively.Buy Nutritional Raw Materials

    ReplyDelete
  7. Superbly written article, if only all bloggers offered the same content as you, the internet would be a far better place.. life assurance

    ReplyDelete
  8. Over the most recent couple of months we've seen a considerable measure of Health Care Reform standards and controls being presented by the Health and Human Services Department. Click here

    ReplyDelete
  9. The issue with this is, ordinarily one author took a gander at the direction, and composed a piece about it. health

    ReplyDelete
  10. The patriot greens problem is let’s face it, unless you keep your house stocked with organic vegetables it can be tricky getting all your daily recommended servings and all those vitamins and antioxidants everybody keeps talking about all the time…….

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hence this type of protection guarantees the policyholder with life benefits, peradventure the policyholder does not kick the bucket till the development of the strategy. instant life insurance quotes

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am entranced right at this point, Incredibly depicted blog
    Viatical settlement

    ReplyDelete
  13. In the past policy was frequently driven solely by compliance with legislation. In the new approach to workplace health management, policy development is driven by both legislative requirements and by health targets set on a voluntary basis by the working community within each industry. zoete aardappel

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for some other informative blog. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal means? I have a mission that I’m just now working on, and I have been at the look out for such information. male extra giant

    ReplyDelete
  15. With all the shouting going on about America's health care crisis, many are probably finding it difficult to concentrate, much less understand the cause of the problems confronting us. guarantor

    ReplyDelete
  16. The quick advancement of working environment wellbeing defensive and preventive administrations has been driven by government techniques and proposals, and additionally by the European Union enactment in the ranges of wellbeing and security at work and by the European Commission program in general wellbeing. https://stdauthority.com/alabama-std-testing

    ReplyDelete
  17. The issue with this is, commonly one author took a gander at the control, and composed a piece about it. At that point different essayists begin utilizing pieces from that initially article and reworking parts to fit their article. Chest Scope

    ReplyDelete
  18. i'm satisfied i found this web web site, I couldn't discover any expertise in this matter previous to.also function a domain and in case you are ever inquisitive about doing a little visitor writing for me if viable sense loose to permit me know, im always look for people to test out my internet web site. this 

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can see that you are an expert at your field!ask the doctor online I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have been checking out a few of your stories and i can state pretty good stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog. legal steroids for sale

    ReplyDelete